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We arrived at LAX with plenty of time to spare before our connecting flight. Although we had both eaten overpriced sandwiches at the Tucson airport, we realized we were both hungry. My first craving was a) terribly unhealthy and b) embarrassingly American: a McFlurry (M&M for me, please) and french fries from McDonald’s. Sorry, world. It’s true. Sometimes I crave that trash. I suggest this, and Lauren agrees her tummy wouldn’t disagree with that idea. We decided to take turns staying with the luggage, so she goes to purchase said snack. She returns only minutes later empty-handed and her proclamation was the definition of incredible: the McDonald’s at LAX did not serve McFlurries! The horror!

We discuss this situation briefly, and try to brainstorm other snack ideas. I really wanted that McFlurry and fries, though! To those of you who believe that the American spirit of innovation and entrepreneurialism is dead, hear this—it lives! It thrives, in fact, in the terminals of LAX, in the minds of hungry young 20-somethings. “Why don’t we just make our own McFlurries?” I suggest. So we did just that. Rolling through the terminal, we come upon a trusty Hudson News shop and purchase M&Ms and Oreos (Lauren’s of the Other McFlurry Camp—we speak not of them), then make our way to the “McDonald’s”–imposters!–to purchase vanilla ice cream. Satisfied, we sit and wait for boarding to begin, chowing down on sodium-saturated fries and homemade McFlurries.

The past few trips I’ve made overseas have all been meticulously selected so that I could fly British Air. I’ve always found that the service is better and overall I have good luck with them. One of the best things about international flights with them is the wide variety of in-flight entertainment. Perhaps I am a picky flyer, or perhaps we could call me an in-flight entertainment connoisseur, but I have to say that United’s IFE (let’s go with that for now, shall we?) is subpar to my accustomed BA flights. Only 7 movies!? Granted, I could watch them in German or French, but still. Seven? And they’re not nonstop?! And one of them had poor audio and another couldn’t give me picture until the very last 10 minutes of the film…at least there was Finding Nemo. I should have watched it in German…Good thing I had a crossword puzzle and 10 books at my disposal, as well as this here trusty laptop—which, for some reason, continues to blink its caps lock and scroll/num lock keys at me, does anyone know how to fix that?

When I consider all of these things, I laugh at the idea that some people might actually complain about them in a serious way. Louis CK has the best bit about flying and people being so impatient and forgetting that the fact that this technology is even available to them is such a miraculous thing. I’ll link y’all to him, for kicks. Now, I’m going to entertain myself by organizing my untitled songs in iTunes. Win number 2 for American creativity, in my opinion!

**This author acknowledges the absolute absurdity of this situation and realizes that there are much bigger problems in life than McFlurry supply and in-flight entertainment options. Consider it disclaimed.

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